One Mans Mountain

Stuart's Diary
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20 June | Mera

My climb on Mera Peak 6500m is now booked and I will be flying to Nepal on October 15th arriving in Kathmandu via Doha on the 16th.

Returning to London November 11th.

I will be climbing Mera with my friend Nuru Jangbu Sherpa and feel very happy that I am making my way back to the fantastic Himalayas once again. I have tried to summit Mera in March 2006. Unfortunately severe weather conditions stopped me from summiting. In 2006 I travelled slightly out of season but October should offer me a far better chance of getting to the top. Weather conditions should be more favourable.

Everest is still on my mind. I want to give it a go one day. That dream has not been forgotten. I feel my climbs, especially that on Everest is a necessity. To prove that great goals can still be achieved after being diagnosed with schizophrenia. Its a statement to myself and to society and health care professionals that schizophrenia should not mean an end to life. I wish to help prove that point and to inspire and offer hope.

I am now building up my fitness levels. This now includes running (not for very long distances-I hate it!) more of a yomp-mixing running with walking (mostly walking at the moment!) But I can now run quite a bit further than I did when I started some weeks back. I have not run since my school days. I have also started cycling. I have learnt that cycling is one of the best ways to prepare for climbing and trekking.

Come the end of July, I will start back at the gym and build up more strength in my legs. Then it will be back to the Dorset coast line and walking for hours most days up and down the coastal hills. I am feeling quite fit now. Still not strong enough for Mera but I know I will be strong enough come October.

Life for me is well balanced. My mind is strong and experiences and symptoms of my schizophrenia are now well in the past. I simply do not suffer from the destructive symptoms any more.

I still take Seroquel every night-mostly 200mg but every now and again when I find it hard to sleep I will take 400mg. I often have thoughts about coming off medication now, as I feel so mentally stable. But then I think, why rock the boat!

My blood pressure is excellent and so is my cholesterol levels. My type 2 diabetes has more or less disappeared. My blood glucose levels have been excellent for a long time now. As the nurse said at my GP surgery-Its as though I have never had type 2 diabetes! This has been controlled by sensible eating, staying fit and losing weight. So its all good news.

Take care-I promise I will post again shortly

Stuart.

7 March | The Baker-Brown's
My family has always been interested in the human mind. This interest has been caused by experiences of psychic activity. My Grandfather was very well known in London during his life time for his powers of the mind.

Here is a video news clip, which I think was filmed in the mid to late 1940's of my grandfather presenting some of his tricks, to view it click here. He was a great man. I am very proud to be a part of his family and proud of the way he tried to push the boundaries of understanding of the human mind and its capabilities.

Stuart

Jan 30
Since the early 1990's, I have been closely connected to the views of psychiatry. In all honesty, I can say, that so far, I have not met a psychiatrist who truly speaks my language or has a deep understanding of the experiences of schizophrenia.

I believe there are many things linked to schizophrenia, which as yet, are misunderstood and unrecognised. For one, I believe there is a spiritual side, which has not been truly recognised or accepted by psychiatry. YET, speaking to many others who share my diagnosis, it is clear to me that spiritual experience and belief plays a big part in the sufferer's life.

A few years ago I discovered Ronald David Laing (October 7, 1927 – August 23, 1989). R D Laing was a Scottish psychiatrist who wrote extensively on mental illness and particularly the experience of psychosis. He emphasised the link between the mystic and the schizophrenic and stated: 'The mystic and the schizophrenic find themselves in the same ocean, but whereas the mystic swims, the schizophrenic drowns.'

I have lived with schizophrenia most of my life and can understand R D Laing's views and theories. I strongly feel that my schizophrenia, although extremely destructive, has helped to create a better and wiser man in me.

Laing said that schizophrenia could be a trans-formative episode whereby the process of undergoing mental distress was compared to a shamanic journey. The traveller could return from the journey with important insights, and may even have become a wiser and more grounded person as a result.

As someone who has come through schizophrenia, as Laing says, 'returned from the journey', I have learnt much from my illness. Schizophrenia has given me insight, helped me to question reality, what is reality? It has taught me to have far greater compassion and understanding towards others and their own pain and needs in life.

Schizophrenia has 'opened my mind' and helped me to recognise how little we know of life and the human mind, its true capabilities. It has taught me to question mans existence, my own existence and purpose. The purpose and creation of the universe. It has also helped to teach me about me! And to accept that 'all' is possible.

Although I don't wish to experience the destruction and pain of schizophrenia ever again, I do feel that I have come through a journey, which has left me a far deeper, caring and thoughtful person. So, in many ways, Laing is right! I believe I have come through a journey, a type of spiritual emergence, which has been caused by the deep pain and destruction of my schizophrenia.

'When you have travelled through such darkness, you cannot but search, for the true meaning of light!'

'Pain can have it's purpose. We must always learn from it. It teaches us many things and can cause us to question life in ways, that we would have not done so, without it.'

Laing never denied the value of treating mental distress, but simply wanted to challenge the core values of contemporary psychiatry which considered (and some would say still considers) mental illness as primarily a biological phenomenon of no intrinsic value.

Stuart Baker-Brown

Schizophrenia and Sensory Deprivation
I watched a documentary last night on the BBC. Total Isolation. It followed six people who were locked up in a bunker deep underground. The purpose of the experiment was to see how the human mind reacts to solitary confinement and sensory deprivation for 48 hours. The film comes amid reports of increasing numbers of prisoners being held in solitary confinement and of sensory deprivation being used in penal systems across the world.

Information here-http://www.a2mediagroup.com/?c=175&a=20820

Within a short while the subjects became disorientated. They started to pace up and down the cells in frustration caused by lack of stimulation. Later on, they started to experience hallucinations-for example, feeling an invisible presence in the cell, seeing snakes, zebra, fighter planes buzzing around one of the subjects head.

The experiment also discovered that the subjects suffered cognitive difficulties. Such as memory deterioration and they also became open to suggestion.

Are the above experiences not symptoms of schizophrenia?
Psychologists believe that 'sensory deprivation' causes the deterioration in the 'central executive' part of the brain.

The central executive, the most important yet least well understood component of Baddeley's (1986) working memory model, is postulated to be responsible for the selection, initiation, and termination of processing routines (e.g., encoding, storing, retrieving). Baddeley (1986, 1990) equates the central executive with the supervisory attentional system (SAS) described by Norman and Shallice (1980) and by Shallice (1982).

As I watched the documentary, I could clearly recognise all the symptoms of sensory deprivation, as my own experiences with schizophrenia and psychosis!

It has made me wonder-do the profound 'cognitive difficulties' of schizophrenia cause the sufferer to experience sensory deprivation?

Cognition-The mental action or process of acquiring knowledge through thought, experience and the senses. Does my brain lack the information and the stimulation it needs. And so, leads to the deterioration of the central executive. With the deterioration of the central executive, does the confused information processed and retrieved then presents itself as psychosis?

Profound Cognitive Difficulties=Sensory Deprivation=Deterioration of Central Executive=Psychosis?

Does profound cognitive difficulty, provide a type of mental solitary confinement? With it's inability to fully capture and process information. Sensory perception is disturbed with my condition. Is there a link here?

14 Jan | Happy New Year
Happy New Year to you all! Everything is well with me here in Dorset. Last week I received some very good news from the Arts Council UK. They have awarded me a grant for my photography and to work with a professional photographer who will give me 'one to one' mentoring over the next year. I really can not thank them enough.

I also have to say a HUGE THANK YOU to Arctic Medical who have donated some money to my Mera Peak appeal. I need to raise £3000 to secure my flights and climb in October this year. Their kind donation has helped me on the way.

And another HUGE THANK YOU to Philippa King and her family for their kind donations. Philippa writes for the TIMES about her life with schizophrenia and is a very talented artist. Her website is www.loadedbrush.me.uk. Philippa, you are my greatest supporter and I am yours!

WhiteLantern film will hopefully start filming my DVD In Pursuit of Reality shortly. Unfortunately filming was delayed but the team should start working on the project very soon.

I have now got to start training for Mera Peak. I am walking for just over an hour most days, which is not enough. The gym beckons once more and by time I leave for Nepal, I will be walking 4 and half hours a day, along the same Dorset coastline I used for my Everest Base Camp training. I am currently weighing 106kg and will hopefully be a very fit 100kg by time I leave for Nepal in October. I cannot bare to think about the time when I reached 162kg back in 2001.

I will be climbing with my good friend Nuru again. He will be my lead Sherpa. I can not wait to get back to Nepal. It is a place close to my heart. I have recently had blood tests at my Doctors surgery in Puddletown Dorset. My type 2 diabetes seems to have disappeared and blood sugar levels are down to 4.7. My cholesterol at present is 4.6 and apparently I have the blood pressure of a 20 year old man. So all the hard work over the years to get my body fit again seems to be paying off.

My symptoms of schizophrenia are still virtually inactive. They have been inactive for a long while now. If I am suffering from schizophrenia at present, its what I call the 'fall out' of the condition. I am through the other side and now have to cope with rebuilding my life. I am still having to cope with the big 'chips and knocks' that the illness has left me with over the years.

Sometimes a lack of confidence to go out and grab life. Stigma and discrimination is at every corner. Trying to initiate new relationships is often very hard. Once I mention my past diagnosis doors can simply close shut. The key is to keep believing in myself and just keep moving forwards.

Peace and Happiness to you all.
Stuart.

Mental Wellness
Mental wellness cannot be fully defined. If it was to be defined, then I believe it would be defined by the ability to function equally in ones own culture and habitat, the ability to reach our own expectations in life and successfully deal with the trials and difficulties that lay on our path. Maybe mental wellness can be defined by a warm smile, a happy laugh, no matter our situation. The ability to enjoy life and to keep ourselves physically and mentally balanced and strong.

As someone that has lived with the destruction of Paranoid Schizophrenia, I can recognise strongly what mental wellness means to me, simply, because I know 1st hand how mental un-wellness has played a part in the destruction of my life. Mental wellness means different things to each individual and I believe to become aware of mental wellness you have to be very aware of mental un-wellness.

My own illness was triggered by my involvement with marching on the streets of Moscow in 1991, against the communist hardliners who attempted a coup against the then Russian leader Mikhail Gorbachev. On my return to London I feared persecution from the KGB for my involvement with the marching. The stress and anxiety I was experiencing quickly formed into the destructive symptoms of schizophrenia.

My mental un-wellness was very apparent. My symptoms included voices, psychosis, false and irrational beliefs, thought disorder, suicidal thoughts, depression, lack of motivation, the feeling of being controlled by outside forces and paranoia and fear of persecution. These strong symptoms stayed with me for many years and I was unable to function in life, socialise, or complete the smallest of tasks. Even having a shower or shaving was sometimes too much and reduced me to tears.

Now, in 2008, my mental wellness can be strongly recognised. My own journey with schizophrenia, has taken me from the streets of Moscow, to the depths of demoralisation, to the heights of the Himalayas. Mental wellness has been established through my own self belief and will to survive and a strong recognition of how to work with and cope with the difficulties of schizophrenia.

My own wellness can be recognised and measured by good self esteem, the resilience to overcome and to control and recover from my symptoms. The ability to socialise, travel, communicate more eloquently and to maintain the ability of a good strong healthy body and mind. To survive and work on an equal basis within the expectations of myself and the world which now surrounds me. The ability to adapt and cope with whatever obstacles may lay in my path. The ability to be me!

Mental wellness has also been established by eventually finding a medication which worked with me, Seroquel, and the final recognition by others and myself, that I am greater than my diagnosis of schizophrenia. The holistic recognition of me, the whole person and my true capabilities, beyond that of a man who could do nothing more than try and cope with the destruction of his illness.

Stuart Baker-Brown.

One Mans Mountain Mera Peak Appeal
Promoting Positive Recovery From Schizophrenia.
Schizophrenia is a very destructive condition. Recovery is often thought as 'near' impossible. A very high percentage of those diagnosed with schizophrenia are unable to work or live life without torment due to the demoralising and destructive symptoms. The low expectancy of recovery, the mistreatment and management of symptoms and the stigma and discrimination towards those who are diagnosed can be just as destructive as the disease itself.

Stuart Baker-Brown, a campaigner and activist for greater understanding and treatment towards schizophrenia was diagnosed with the disease in 1996. For many years he has promoted his own positive recovery to help inspire and offer hope to all those who share his diagnosis.

Mera Peak Challenge.
In October 2008, Stuart will visit Nepal and attempt to get to the summit of Mera Peak 6500m. Mera Peak is very achievable for 'strong trekkers' and the capabilities of summiting without experienced mountaineering skills are high. Stuart has visited Nepal on several occasions and completed his first trek to Everest Base Camp in 2003. His achievements and story of recovery has been covered in the media.

We Need Your Support.
In order for Stuart Baker-Brown to get to Mera Peak he needs to raise £3000. Stuart hopes that his summit will help to inspire the 51 million people around the world who are diagnosed with schizophrenia to reach their own potential recovery in life. Stuart's own achievements and recovery has already helped many. Please donate generously and support Stuart Baker-Brown’s attempt to reach even 'greater heights' and send a very positive message of 'hope' to all those who share his diagnosis.

Please Donate Generously.
To make a secure donation using Pay Pal please click on the button below

or Ii you would like to send a cheque contact Stuart Baker-Brown directly at-15 Acreman Street, Cerne Abbas, Dorchester, Dorset, DT2 7JX. UK. Email: s.bakerbrown@virgin.net

With your valued support and kind donation, Stuart can continue to try and inspire those who need a 'ray of light' in the demoralising and misunderstood world of schizophrenia.By donating, you will help Stuart get to the top of Mera Peak and play a vital role in promoting Positive Recovery From Schizophrenia.

With Our Greatest Thanks.
Stuart Baker-Brown and the One Mans Mountain Team.